Monday, December 5, 2016

Community Safety Bullying Female Aggression Feminine Misogyny Women Who Hate Other Women Women are often harder on each other than men are on each other. Psychology Today Sept 24th 2013



As I overheard a group of women this past week in line at a store verbally tear apart a couple of women within their social circle who happened to be absent, I was taken aback by the vitriol. As I reflected on how women talk about other women, I thought about what I've heard so many women say over the years: "Girls are so much crueler to each other than men." Based on fifteen years of clinical work with women who represent virtually every possible demographic variable (Come on, I trained in New York City), I can assuredly report that the women I've worked with report more critical views of other women than the men do with their own male peers.
Most women will tell you that they have survived at least one mean girl in their past: a girl who dismissed, put down, or even socially tormented them. What does the research say? It probably goes without saying that the research is complex, particularly because it is challenging (or impossible?) to measure a critical, negative or hostile attitude given theself-serving bias that makes people want to see themselves as good and upstanding. Fortunately, recent years have seen an uptick in attention when it comes to the research. 
Research shows that women during the college years may have negative attitudes about particular types of other women. Vrangalova and colleagues (2013) found that female college students were less likely to want to be friends with another female who was seen as sexually promiscuous, when compared to the rate for male college students who wanted to be friends with a promiscuous male peer. The study showed that the women clearly noticed the promiscuous woman and also had negative beliefs about her as a result.
In terms of women's approach to competition, research from Benenson and colleagues (2011) is particularly interesting. According to the study, women may be more sensitive than men to social exclusion, and when they feel threatened by the prospect of being left out, a woman's first response may be to socially exclude a third party. Again, for any woman who's been on the receiving end of a female bully, this will come as no surprise.
In addition, Nicki Crick is a true rock star of gender research. Crick has devoted many years to investigating relational aggression, the type of aggression females appear to engage in more regularly than males (who tend to engage in more physical aggression). Crick would most likely argue that women's negative attitudes are actually a manifestation of relational agression. In a study examining the attitudes and aggressive behavior of fourth and fifth grade boys and girls, Crick and Bigbee (1998) found that girls were significantly more relationally victimized, while boys were significantly more overtly victimized.
In talking about the influence a mother has on her daughter, we also have to talk aboutsocial learning theory. Social learning theory reminds us that modeling has much to do with how children learn. The real but graphic truth is that there are many mothers out there in the world who aren't so sweet to their daughters, and readily say and do things that would make many of us cringe. It's critical to note that much of what is said and done by mothers that is ultimately hurtful was engaged under the veiled intention of having 'her best interests in mind.'  I have found that women who are mean-spirited about other women were often raised by a mother who probably didn't like herself and didn't feel warmly toward women, in general, either.
The other factor that I see at work in my practice is anxiety. I find that the majority of female criticism actually stems from feeling inadequate in an area of life they value highly. For example, I have a female client who is extremely critical of other's parenting styles, but it's simultaneously worth noting that she has had great difficulty becoming pregnant and is currently in the midst of fertility treatments. With my client, she feels inadequate and defensive, and she defends herself by criticizing other women's parenting styles. In other words, she's not critical of other women because she thinks less of them; she is covetous of what they have instead.
The women I have seen clinically over the years also have reported far greater anxiety in the appearance department than men, and I see that the pressure women feel from men and the media to fit a certain physical type of thinness and beauty gets transformed to the point that they turn it on each other. Interestingly, one 2012 study from Snapp and colleagues found that young women with high family support and low levels of perceived socio-cultural pressure from family, friends and the media regarding the importance of achieving a 'thin and beautiful' ideal had a more positive body image. It makes perfect sense, too, so let's all agree to watch the amount of pressure we inflict on young girls.
I know, I know: Things seem to look good for Hillary in 2016, and there are lots of other examples of the progress American culture has made in terms of gender equality. Yet women continue to earn less money today than men and occupy fewer positions in politicsand at the heads of Fortune 500 companies. Independent of what the research shows, it's understandable on a common-sense level if women feel that they must work hard to secure whatever social power they can, and this may sometimes take the form of exclusionary practices with other women. When it comes to our kids, I believe that there is much we can do and say to give our daughters the sense that their lives will be equally important to those of men, and I'll teach my daughter that she'll get there by supporting—and not criticizing—other girls. If I'm careful, one day she'll be a woman who will speak positively about other women.
Feel free to check out my book on relationships, Overcome Relationship Repitition Syndrome and Find the Love You Deserve, or follow me on Twitter!
References
Association for Psychological Science (2011, March 5). Mean girls and queen bees: Females threatened by social exclusion will reject others first. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 17, 2013, from http://www.sciencedaily.com¬ " target="_blank">http://www.sciencedaily.com¬
/releases/2011/02/110224121907.ht. 
American Psychological Association (1998, March 26). Boys And Girls Are Cruel To Each Other In Different Ways -- But The Effects Are Equally Harmful. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 24, 2013, fromhttp://www.sciencedaily.com­/releases/1998/03/980326075743.htm
Shannon Snapp, Laura Hensley-Choate, Ehri Ryu. A Body Image Resilience Model for First-Year College Women. Sex Roles, 2012; DOI: 10.1007/s11199-012-0163-1
Springer Science+Business Media (2012, May 9). Self-worth needs to go beyond appearance, experts say. ScienceDaily. Retrieved September 17, 2013, from http://www.sciencedaily.com¬ "
Z. Vrangalova, R. E. Bukberg, G. Rieger. Birds of a feather? Not when it comes to sexual permissiveness. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2013; DOI: 10.1177/0265407513487638


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201309/women-who-hate-other-women-the-psychological-root-snarky

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Community Safety Feminism Gender Equality "My mother taught me never to depend on a man, and that failed me" Katherine Feeney The Age Nov 30th 2016 Health and Wellbeing





COMMENT

My mother taught me never to depend on a man, and that failed me


When my daughter arrived, it was magnificent and terrible.
Many times I crumpled in a wretched heap of salty tears, stale milk, bitter frustration and hopeless, angry loneliness. The baby howled. I sobbed. The pre-dawn, black and heavy, closed in. And my husband crouched beside me, brow knotted in anguish.



"Let me help you!" He was so worried. "How can I help? What do you need? I love you, talk to me. Let me in."
But I couldn't. I couldn't answer him. I couldn't explain because fear and confusion were lodged in my throat.
"It's fine. Go away. I'm fine. I can do it. Go away, leave me alone. I can do it myself."
And sure, I could do it myself. I gave up my sleep to give the baby hers. I wiped up vomit with one hand while holding a writhing, wet, sneezing body with the other, having not properly washed myself since yesterday. I carried an aching back and the bewildering burden. But I didn't have to. There he was, the man I married, the father of our child, ready, able, willing to be exactly what he should be; my partner. And there I was, stopping him. Preventing him. Pushing him away.
Why?
Because accepting his help would be like admitting defeat.
"Never depend on a man."
My mother's mantra. The foundation of a philosophy that had brought me a lot of success, but now threatened to destroy me, and my marriage, and the beauty I wanted to give to my child.
I am the daughter of an incredible feminist woman. She was there as the second-wave washed over Aussie uni campuses. She marched, she wrote, she helped see unedited, uncensored photographs of female genitals published for the sake of sexual health and equality. She was an affirmative action officer in the mining sector and stripped nudie-calendars from the tea-rooms of far-flung coal pits.
Equality was at the heart of my mum's philosophy, not female supremacy. But so much of feminism then was filtered through the prism of war. The patriarchy needed to be crushed. Some believed the men supporting it needed crushing too. Indeed, as in war, some engaged in the pursuit of revenge. My mum, though, was not, and is not, anti-men. Not intellectually in any case.
However there were times when emotion coloured her view (she's human – we all are). And certain personal experiences perhaps added an unspoken addendum to that most influential message.
"Never depend on a man." (Because they will only let you down).
This message seeded deep in my psyche. It took root, and grew into a defining aspect of my character. I grew up believing, as a good third-wave feminist should, that girls can do anything. And, thanks to mum, I knew I didn't need a man to achieve my goals. And I didn't want a man who'd frustrate them. And my goals were simple: Finish school, establish a career, conquer the professional world, have many lovers, be bound to no-one, and wind-up knocking about an extraordinary house cackling over cocktails with my endearingly eccentric, similarly single girlfriends.
A husband and children wasn't part of the picture. Partly because I saw marriage as a battle and I didn't want to lose. And partly because I believed it would mean giving up my freedom. But then I met my husband, and I realised marriage can be a partnership, and love can be liberating too. And then we decided to have a baby, and I thought of it as a happy addition to our lives, not a subtraction from our happiness.
And she is. And she will be. But we've given up so much. I've given up so much. My body, my job, given over to her. And while I'm close to ending breastfeeding, and reclaiming my body, my primary job remains my daughter. And it's a job that isn't remunerated. So here I am, depending on my husband to pay our mortgage. A dependence I find hard to bear now, but even harder during those early, wearing months.
Months made a great deal worse for not letting myself depend on my husband for all of the other, vital help he was offering. Emotional support, physical support – taking care of the baby so I could take care of myself – these were all the things women had been crying out in need of well before women's liberation. And I had them. So I should have enjoyed them. Not rejected them to the point of ruin.
I won't say that feminism is wrong because it absolutely isn't. I won't say my feminist mother is wrong because she absolutely isn't.
What I will say, is this: The "never depend on a man" brand of feminism that thrust me into strong, independent womanhood also failed me savagely.
Now, I realise we must learn dependence to understand independence. Not knowing how and when to depend on a man, or anyone else for that matter reflects an injurious shameful selfishness. It's a selfishness that will destroy you.
It's the selflessness that we need.



http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/sex-and-relationships/my-mother-taught-me-never-to-depend-on-a-man-and-heres-why-that-failed-me-20161129-gt064u

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Community Safety Family Violence Royal Commission into Family Violence Submission by Pete Dowe






Royal Commission into Family Violence
Submission by Pete Dowe

1 “examine and evaluate strategies, frameworks, policies, programs and services across government and local government, media, business and community organisations and establish best practice for:
a)      The prevention of family violence
b)      Early intervention to identify and protect those at risk of family violence and prevent the escalation of violence
c)       Support for victims of family violence and measures to address the impacts on victims particularly on women and children, and
d)      Perpetrator accountability

Assumptions and Misperception.
While this extract from a Psychology Today article refers to misreading individuals, I argue it has parallels with attitudes on Family Violence.
“So when it comes to perceiving you, your colleagues are (without realizing it) relying heavily on assumptions, the miserly brain’s favorite shortcut. Those assumptions guide what the perceiver sees, how that information is interpreted, and how it is remembered, forming an integral part of his or her perception of you.
 Assumptions come in many varieties, but two of the most powerful and pervasive of these are confirmation bias and the primacy effect.” 
The Confirmation Bias 
“When other people look at you, they see what they expect to see. If they have reason to believe that you are smart, they will see evidence of intelligence in your behavior—whether or not there actually is any. If they have reason to believe you are dishonest, they will interpret a lack of eye contact or awkward body language as evidence that you have something to hide, as opposed to evidence that you are shy, distracted, or in gastric distress.
In a nutshell, people will interpret your current behavior in a way that makes it consistent with your past behavior, and they will tend to play down or completely ignore evidence that contradicts their existing opinion of you. What’s more, they will have no idea that they’re doing it.
Confirmation bias is shaped by many factors. Stereotypes about the groups to which you belong, your apparent similarity to other people the perceiver knows, and cultural attitudes—yours and theirs—are among the most consequential. And of course, their own past experience with you, if they have any, plays a major role.”
Psychology Today Mar 24, 2015
Confirmation bias also occurs when females commit family violence.
(Gender Bias, Gender Equality)
“Confirmation bias is shaped by many factors. Stereotypes about the groups to which you belong”
Female aggression predominantly, emotional violence is still unfortunately not an issue in our society which leaves victims without recourse, and difficulty raising the negative impact.
There is also some confusion on what constitutes female aggression such as Magazine articles in defence of aggressive females.
Articles arguing that “power women” are simply confident but supposedly “seen” as aggressive by all the “insecure men” who can’t cope with, are intimidated by, jealous of, “incredible” power women who are “successful” and have skills the “insecure men” don’t.
To clarify, Female Aggression as defined by Psychology Today is:
"Until fairly recently, there were no sounds associated with female aggression -- as if it didn't exist.
It's only in the last decade or so that aggression by the female -- in the form of social or relational aggression -- has been recognized.
 The words now associated with female aggressive behavior include: 
excluding, ignoring, teasing, gossiping, secrets, backstabbing, rumor spreading and hostile body language (i.e., eye-rolling and smirking).  
Most damaging is turning the victim into a social "undesirable". 
The behavior and associated anger is hidden, often wrapped in a package seen as somewhat harmless or just a "girl thing".  
The covert nature of the aggression leaves the victim with no forum to refute the accusations 
and, in fact, attempts to defend oneself leads to an escalation of the aggression."
“Bullying in the Female World
The Hidden Aggression Behind the Innocent Smile”
Sep 03, 2011
Appropriate Attitudes
Note the words "Until fairly recently, there were no sounds associated with female aggression-- as if it didn't exist.” 
Being Male today is sort of like being left-handed in a right-handed world and I would have thought feminists and feminism would be sensitive to that.
I have a question: “If it is a patriarchy, who’s the dumb, inept bastard running it!?”
 “Women write most of the books on human relations and over 80% of the purchasers are female. Most of these books tend to focus on Men, what they do wrong and how you can improve them. Most relationship counsellors and therapists are also women.”
 “If a woman slaps a man’s face in public, everyone assumes he’s in the wrong”
Why Men don’t have a clue...
Alan and Barbara Pease 2005

Common Assumptions towards Male victims
“He musta done something” “He deserved it” “It’s men’s turn to be victims”

“Man bad, Woman good
Male wrong, Female right”
Pete Dowe

“Maleness in itself is not a crime or an illness or something we have to fight against,” 
 Clint Greagen 

Maybe it’s confronting for women and men to see femininity as other than the clichés
“all things sweet and nice”
or   “bold, strong, confident, wonderful, incredible, fantastic, trail-blazing women”
or “always vulnerable” even in their criminality: The “poor, vulnerable murderess.” The poor unfortunate, vulnerable emotionally-violent woman”
However It is weak-minded and wrong to censor reality simply to appease a politically-correct, gender bias-confirming mind-set. 
There is a gender-biased assumption that female perpetrators and their victims are insignificant, infinitesimal  and ought be ignored as not a “real problem.”
This is not gender equality!
People will “tend to play down or completely ignore evidence that contradicts their existing opinion...”
“What’s more, they will have no idea that they’re doing it.”
The manifestation of confirmation bias
Or “Quick! call the thought-Police!”
Everytime a female perpetrator hurts a child, a female or a male the “thought-Police” are called to “explain” that these victims and these perpetrators aren’t a problem or an issue and to actively advocate inaction and “paying no attention” to these victims and their perpetrators and to only pay attention to the “real problem” female victims, male perpetrators.
Family Violence Physical Violence by Females towards Males

Family Violence Emotional Violence by Females towards Males
“I Wasn't Treating My Husband Fairly, And It Wasn't Fair”
It is also assumed that
“We can’t have a one size fits all approach.”
Meaning we can’t include in the Family Violence problem male victims of female perpetrators and their other victims: children, and other females.
This is social exclusion!
Those assumptions will NOT prevent family violence, NOT hold perpetrators to account, NOT protect those at risk of Family Violence.
1 “examine and evaluate strategies, frameworks, policies, programs and services across government and local government, media, business and community organisations and establish best practice for:
a)      The prevention of family violence
b)      Early intervention to identify and protect those at risk of family violence and prevent the escalation of violence
c)       Support for victims of family violence and measures to address the impacts on victims particularly on women and children, and
d)      Perpetrator accountability

“they will tend to play down or completely ignore evidence that contradicts their existing opinion of you. What’s more, they will have no idea that they’re doing it.”
On Q and A ABCTV there was some seeming “mumbo jumbo” about Males as a “minority” of family violence victims could be included under the category of women.
This is NOT inclusion.
And will female perpetrators be included under the category of Men?
Can’t wait to read the data!
This is nonsense!
It is also Inadvertent solidarity with female criminality,
and inadvertent discrimination towards and neglect of child, female and male victims of females.

Child victims of female perpetrators
Maternal Infanticide and Maternal Filicide

sA 1999 U.S. Department of Justice study concluded that between 1976 and 1997 in the United States, mothers were responsible for a higher share of children killed during infancy, while fathers were more likely to have been responsible for the murders of children age 8 or older.[1]
Furthermore, 52% of the children killed by their mothers (maternal filicide) were male, while 57% of the children killed by their fathers (paternal filicide) were male.
Parents were responsible for 61% of child murders under the age of five.[2]
Sometimes, there is a combination of murder and suicide in filicide cases. On average, according to FBI statistics, 450 children are murdered by their parents each year in the US.
Re Social Exclusion, Gender Equality  and “We can’t have a one size fits all approach.”
As a matter of fact, “excluding” is typical aggressive behaviour on the part of females.
“The words now associated with female aggressive behavior include: 
excluding, ignoring, teasing, gossiping, secrets, backstabbing, rumor spreading and hostile body language (i.e., eye-rolling and smirking).” 
Rule of Law IS One Size Fits All
"Rule of law, equal application of the law, due process, respect of one person for another are necessary for a peaceful productive society" 
Malcolm Fraser
Gender Equality
Gender Equal Application of the Law
Emotional Violence Controlling Behaviours: “She who must be obeyed”
Happy Wife Happy Life?
What if she’s not happy? Live in Fear?
The justification by the woman:
That’s ok you have a happy life when she’s happy.
Why?
Because she said so!
Or  your life will be miserable if she’s not happy.
So when she’s happy,
You can live in fear of next time she’s unhappy?
What a life!
Emotional violence towards men.
What recourse would a man have if his partner is cruelly emotionally violent, taunting, seeking to provoke, he walks away but she follows him around the house from room to room invading his “personal space” with her head literally “in his face” self-indulgently saying cruel insults calculated to wound deeply, in the belief that he has no recourse to her taunting behaviour?
How can he get her to stop?
He can only leave the situation.
Should he have to?
It’s his home too.
Assumptions.
Just a girl thing?
She loses it occasionally?
Happy Wife Happy Life?
He deserved it anyway?
He musta done something bad to make her react like that?
It’s men’s turn to be victims?
Taunting
A general comment on Taunting and lesser penalties for lesser offences.
I read Alastair Nicholson of the National Centre Against Bullying talk of having lesser penalties for less serious bullying offences so that 1) we don’t wait to act until the worst negative impact
 2) the judiciary are more likely to award lesser penalties for lesser offences.
And then I saw this scenario happen in an NFL American Football Game.
A player intercepted a pass near the sidelines resulting in a turnover giving possession of the ball to that player’s team.
It was a finals match, the scores were tight and it was the last quarter.
When the player intercepted the ball he was understandably excited and he also intercepted the pass in front of players from the opposing team, currently off-field watching from the sidelines.
He was unable to resist the temptation to gesture to the opposition “How did you like that?”
Pretty  tame.
But it was “taunting” and the umpires “pinged him” and his team with loss of yardage pushing the team further back from the goal which could have been a significant factor in losing the match.
Did he commit the sin of all time?
No.
Was the penalty severe? No
Did he taunt? Yes.
Is taunting in the NFL wrong? Yes
The penalty was just.
Should a Male or Female have recourse to emotional violence from their partner, in particular taunting?
I argue yes.
:Family violence...includes physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and economic abuse. Any behaviour that physically or emotionally hurts you or makes you scared of being harmed is a form of violence.”

“examine and evaluate strategies, frameworks, policies, programs and services across government and local government, media, business and community organisations and establish best practice for:
a)      The prevention of family violence

Strategy of “controlling behaviour“
We should not be focusing on scrutinising legal behaviour at the risk of looking the wrong way when crime occurs.
For instance have you noticed that the tragic Family Violence problem has not improved?
Yes, I suppose you have.
Over zealous focusing on things that aren’t wrong at the expense of addressing what is tragically wrong.
Language.
“The week before our Prime Minister promised to "shirt-front" the president of Russia, I was at the gravesite of a man who hit his wife so hard she went through a door.”
Does the Prime Minister’s remark taken out of context have any relevance to Family Violence?
If he’d said it to his wife it would. It would be a threat.
Finger pointing, raising voice, swearing
These are not illegal, nor automatically lead to violence.
Are they relevant to Family Violence?
They are as “controlling behaviour” by prescribing how one can and can’t express themself.
I’ve seen a man actually stifle the expression of another man whose inflexion rised simply as the sound of astonishment at the other man’s remarks. The rising inflexion was criticised as raising his voice and inappropriate and disrespectful expression.
I thought this attitude was “Controlling” and “manipulative”
Proactive
“examine and evaluate strategies, frameworks, policies, programs and services across government and local government, media, business and community organisations and establish best practice for:
e)      The prevention of family violence
f)       Early intervention to identify and protect those at risk of family violence and prevent the escalation of violence
d)      Perpetrator accountability

“Let’s lock everyone up before they do something wrong?”
 “Oh. Due process eh?
Well what if we just lock up men?”
“Due process again?”
“How about we intervene and corner a human “time-bomb!?”
Proactive may simply be intimidation by the authorities of law-abiding people and family emotional violence.
Family violence intervention orders
Increased Penalties for false reports and spurious complaints
To protect victims we need to determine, to bother to determine who is genuine
Spurious complaints/ false reports turn the victim into a social undesirable.
We must take victims seriously!
Women want to be believed.
So do Men.
In order to take seriously legitimate victims and genuine complaints we must take a very dim view of spurious complaints/ false reports.
There has been no message to the wider community that complaints must be genuine and that there are (should be) severe penalties and consequences for spurious complainants.
We must do this or the legal system will continue be used to “perverse and evil means” in order to victimize.
Spurious complaints waste finite, precious, vital time of the Courts and Police.
I’m sure it would be offensive to Victoria Police line officers to be “used” by a spurious complainant to bully, control, intimidate the victim.
We must bother to determine who is genuine if we are to be just and protect victims.
“He said, She said” and a policy of not bothering to determine who is genuine without severe penalties for spurious complainants only rewards the perpetrator, and creates victims.
PERPETRATORS KNOW THIS!
Perpetrators know a victim’s lack of recourse well!
It is their modus operandi summed up in the expression:
“What are you gonna do?”
(you have no recourse)
I have been informed there is often just one legal aid lawyer available at Court for a complainant and respondent.
This means one side will most likely be unrepresented.
If the Complainant is spurious and has “the” lawyer. The lawyer may pressure the respondent to accept a “No-fault order” “offer you a deal make it short and sweet.”
If the complainant is spurious and their complaint is part of “ongoing emotional violence” toward the respondent, the respondent under stress may wilt and accept a no-fault order just “wanting it all to go away”
If they do, and given that the original complaint is spurious, what is to stop a subsequent spurious complaint of breach of the no-fault order in which the victim would be imprisoned in a severe travesty and there is nothing anyone could do about it.
Or in the case of a genuine application for an intervention order what is to stop a spurious complainant applying for a counter order to “muddy the waters”
“It takes two to tango” is a “win” for the perpetrator by superficially diminishing the credibility of the victim and covering their own tracks.
Some may now assume the victim “asked for it” and the victim “makes the perpetrator act as they do”
Assumptions may well benefit the perpetrator and the perpetrator may manipulate perceptions based on assumptions.
We must bother to determine who is genuine if we are to be just and protect victims.
It only rewards the perpetrator, and creates victims to leave it at “He said, She said” and a policy of not bothering to determine who is genuine, indifference to the crime of perjury, without severe penalties for spurious complaints/ lying to Police, false reports.

Vigilantism
I also argue the authorities need to clarify “If you see something say something” as it has inadvertently “legitimised” vigilantism, the spreading of lies and rumours, covert bullying and cyber bullying.
There is a hyper-vigilant community with vigilantism and what seems to be a perverse notion of “progressive community minded” vigilantism.
“If you see something say something”
See what? Someone you don’t like the look of? A mis-interpretation of law-abiding behaviour?
Say something to who? Facebook? Other Social Media? Everyone you know and run into?
Say something to the authorities if you are genuinely concerned.
And leave it at that.
Complainants must be genuine and alerting the authorities of their concerns,
 not vigilantes spreading lies and rumours.
The authorities need to clarify “If you see something say something” and emphasise there is no role for vigilantes to play!

"We will not walk in fear of one another. We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason if we dig deep in our history and our doctrine" Ed Murrow

Family violence towards women.
Sean Connery on slapping women
“I think it depends entirely on the circumstances and if it merits it...If you have tried everything else and, women are pretty good at this, they can’t leave it alone. They don’t know when to have the last word and you give them the last word but they’re not happy with the last word. They want to say it again and get into a really provocative situation, then I think it’s (slapping) absolutely right”
Sean Connery Interview with Barbara Walters 1987
Connery is WRONG is WRONG is WRONG
If Connery couldn’t control himself he should’ve left the situation.
If he had’ve left the situation we could discuss the question of whether a man should have to leave the house to avoid being taunted and provoked?

The End